Unhinged: a guide to the modern tribes of competitive dating | Dazed

The Nugget

  • Modern dating has evolved into a competitive arena with different tribes employing unique tactics and strategies to optimize efficiency and outcomes in the online dating world.

Make it stick

  • 🚀 The Time Wasters: Screen dates meticulously, prioritize multitasking, and streamline the dating experience.
  • 🔍 The Preppers: Take screening dates to the extreme with applications and detailed questionnaires before meeting.
  • 💸 The Money Savers: Employ savvy tactics like daytime dates or 'foodie calls' to save money while dating.
  • 💰 The Money Makers: Profit off dates, from engaging in sugar-dating apps to, in extreme cases, stealing from dates.

Key insights

The Time Wasters

  1. People are sprinting through the dating experience by engaging in quick micro-dates and multitasking during dates.
  2. Time-wasting is considered a major offense in this tribe, leading to brutal tactics like running away from dates if they don't meet expectations.

The Preppers

  1. This tribe takes screening dates to the next level by sending out detailed questionnaires and applications before meeting.
  2. Some individuals like Christine Gwaze even used a "Don't Waste My Time Application" to filter out matches who don't meet their criteria.

The Part-Timers/Compartmentalisers

  1. Some daters engage with dating apps sparingly, like on the app Thursday, limiting matches and chats to once a week.
  2. The part-time daters prioritize balancing their dating life with other commitments, showcasing a slow and steady approach.

The Money Savers

  1. Savvy daters explore tactics like 'daylight savings trend' for budget-friendly daytime dates and using apps like DineMe to decide who pays for the bill before the date.
  2. Some individuals engage in 'foodie calls,' going on dates solely for free meals, to save money and enjoy dining out.

The Money Makers

  1. These daters aim to profit from dating by participating in activities like sugar-dating apps or engaging in extreme strategies like stealing from dates.
  2. Some individuals have even accepted money in exchange for dates or specific interactions.

Key quotes

  • "Dating has become an Olympic sport of f**kery – about as painstaking as a pentathlon (I imagine), with about as much grandeur and prestige as the shot put (sorry, guys)."
  • "The movement towards sober first dates shows no signs of slowing, with more daters opting out of traditional alcohol-centered encounters"
  • "Meeting on the internet has become our default. AI is just the next frontier" – Artem
  • "The gamification of dating apps has led some serial daters to treat the process like a game, seeking matches and interactions as if collecting points in a competition."
This summary contains AI-generated information and may have important inaccuracies or omissions.